Repúblika Banana

1st - Francisco Guterres Lu-Olo

Married with children (picture). First wife died while fighting the Indonesian army. An independence hero and a living legend. Spent 24 years in the resistance fighting Indonesian army. Wife is from Atauro and will make a good Timorese First Lady. Lu Olo's children are welbehaved bunch of kids, too.

2nd - Avelino Coelho

Red wine loving pseudo-Marxist, ex-seminarian, Fidel Castro wanabe who is married to an Indonesian. Spent many years in Austrian embassy after unsucessfully tried to seek assylum. There is no way that Timor should have an Indonesian first lady. Spent many years organising resistance in Indonesia with his socialist faction within Fretilin.

3rd - Francisco Xavier do Amaral

He has chronic heart disease, Parkinson's disease as well as suffering the effects of old age. He has long been separated from his wife and has no children. If he became president, he'd probably last only a couple of weeks. But, again I wouldn't like to see this dellusional feudalist bring back to life his feudal lifestyle to the highest post in Timor-Leste's state, thank you. No first lady. Spent the occupation years in Indonesia as a gardener for an Indonesian general. To be fair, it was Indonesia's way of humilliating Timor-Leste's nationalism by putting its first president to do someone's garden.

4th - Manuel Tilman (left)

Divorced from his Portuguese wife a long, long time ago. Once sought Indonesian citizenship through the help of Suharto's daughter, Siti Hardyanti Rukhmana who he developped a business partnership to import Portuguese made goods to Indonesia. Apparently he had been offered a much younger woman selected by his family through traditional means. Will not have a first lady. Spent the occupation period in Macau and Portugal.

5th - Lucia Lobato (far right, with blue suit)

Her claim to fame is her masculine looks and her unshaven legs. She is unnmarried, probably will stay that way for obvious reasons. Will have no first gentleman. Spent many years in Indonesia as a student of some sort. Has a masters degree from some university in Indonesia.

6th - Jose Ramos-Horta

Martini drinking French speaking swinger and self-styled not so-cosmopolitan diplomat who wants to be a New Yorker but is condemned to spending the rest of his sexually-active life in a third world country with not too many people to hit on. Divorced from his wife a long time ago and has a son who is luckier than the father for not having a permanent address in Dili. Officially single but swings around with a special preference for young women and men. Spent the occupation years living in Mozambique.

7th - João Carrascalão

Married to José Ramos-Horta's sister. Children are not in Timor nor do they have any plans to live in Timor. Has accute heart problem. I would vote for him because he has a good sense of humour and is a good drinking buddy. Spent the period of Indonesian occupation outside of Timor.

8th - Fernando de Araújo Lasama

Fernando who? Right. The one married to that Filipina rumour monger. Seriously. An Australian first lady has given Timor its enough share of headache. But now a Phillipina? God help Timor! Spent many years in Indonesia as president of RENETIL, Timorese student underground group. He was imprisoned with PR Xanana. Never finished his studies.


First lady material?


The first lady Timor
had to have.

My vote goes to Lu Olo!